Assassination Bureau, The (1969)

This dry period comedy has ardent feminist and would-be journalist Miss Winter (Diana Rigg) infiltrating a gang of killers whose members only accept contracts on those who “deserve” to die.

Rigg persuades the gang’s leader Ivan Dragomiloff (Oliver Reed) to allow himself to become a target as a challenge to his professionalism. But events are complicated by a conniving aristocratic newspaper publisher Lord Bostwick (Telly Savalas).

It’s a clever premise but the numerous attempts by the bureau to kill Dragomiloff do not provide the laughs they promise – They are too numerous and make the movie repetitious.

It’s also hard to laugh at these goons trying to assassinate each other when various innocent bystanders get blown up in the process. Still, the look on Clive Revill’s face when he’s poisoned is priceless.

The film does wake itself up in time for a fairly exciting finale, but by that time the clever plot has been too bogged down by a heavy-handed production, missing the light, daffy touch it so sorely needed.

It’s a real shame because the ingredients are there for a colourful adventure.

Loosely based on a madcap unfinished novel by Jack London later completed by Robert L Fish (with additional material by producer Michael Relph and Wolf Mankowitz), the movie is a long chase across Europe through chocolate-box Victoriana with a lot of traps, bombs and disguises.

Diana Rigg’s appearances disguised as everything from a Victorian prude to a femme fatale to a nun, are delicious. This is a movie that cries out for a remake.

Ivan Dragomiloff
Oliver Reed
Miss Sonya Winter
Diana Rigg
Lord Bostwick
Telly Savalas
General von Pinck
Curd Jürgens
Monsieur Lucoville
Philippe Noiret
Herr Weiss
Warren Mitchell
Madame Otero
Beryl Reid
Cesare Spado
Clive Revill
Monsieur Popescu
Kenneth Griffith
Baron Muntzof
Vernon Dobtcheff
Eleanora
Annabella Incontrera
Angelo
Jess Conrad
Mme. Lucoville
Katherine Kath
Bureau Members
Roger Delgado
Maurice Browning
Clive Cazes
Gerik Schjelderup

Director
Basil Dearden