Starcrash is an Italian-made Star Wars knock-off, and it’s bad. Really bad – but it’s the kind of bad that’s cheesy, campy, and ultimately entertaining for those who enjoy such things.
The population of the universe is split into two factions, one under the beleaguered Emperor (Christopher Plummer, pictured below right) and the other under his rival, the evil Count Zarth Arn (Joe Spinell).
One of the Empire’s spacecraft searching for his secret weapon is caught by a mysterious force that wipes out most of the crew, and only three launches manage to escape, landing on “haunted” planets.
Sexy and gutsy space pirate Stella Star (the spectacularly gorgeous Caroline Munro who is scantily clad in true Barbarella style) and her colleague Akton (Marjoe Gortner) are being pursued by the police but manage to evade capture and – arriving in a remote part of the universe – they discover a disabled ship floating aimlessly in space – it’s one of the launches.
After finding a survivor aboard the launch, Stella and Akton are captured and sent to prison for about five minutes before Stella escapes and the prison explodes in a riot. She’s then picked up by the same policemen who take her to see a hologram of the Emperor, which tells her and Akton that they have to track down the other launches and his own lost son, or else it spells the end of the noble Empire.
During their quest, the space duo are doublecrossed but make a great friend in the robot companion Elle (voiced by Hamilton Camp). Eventually, David Hasselhoff turns up sporting more eyeliner than Munro . . .
Thank heavens for Christopher Plummer, who can deliver the most ridiculous, inane dialogue as if it were Shakespeare.
Count Zarth Arn
Luigi Cozzi (Lewis Coates)