Craig Wasson plays Jake, a struggling actor in Hollywood who gets fired from his role as a vampire in a horror-porn flick because he goes berserk every time they close the coffin lid on his face.
After finding his girlfriend in bed with another man, he moves into a friend’s apartment – a bizarre mountaintop house that looks like a spaceship – to house-sit.
Luckily for him, his beautiful neighbour (Deborah Shelton) dances around topless in front of her window every night . . .
Naturally, he can’t help but watch her (through a conveniently located telescope), but becomes a bit obsessed and starts following her. He notices that someone else is stalking her too, and one night he sees her murdered.
Jake investigates on his own and ends up getting involved with porn star, Holly Body (beautifully played by Melanie Griffith). Director Brian de Palma had wanted to use a real porn star for the part and had offered it to then-queen of the meat flicks, Annette Haven.
Haven worked extensively on acting lessons but the studio bosses refused to take a chance on her so Griffith got the part.
Through more plot twists than any movie should rightfully have, it turns out the friend who found Jake the spaceship apartment is a homicidal killer disguised as a Navajo Indian who sneaks into his ex-wife’s condo and grinds her through the floor with an electric drill.
Before long, Frankie Goes To Hollywood shows up and sings Relax! and they all end up back on the set of the vampire movie, where the dumb porno star climbs out of her grave and says, “Am I missing something?”. Good question . . .
B J Jones
Brian De Palma