Bruce Willis – in the worst movie of his career – plays Eddie Hawkins (aka Hudson Hawk), a cat burglar just out of Sing Sing who wants to go straight but cannot adjust to the real world. Even his old saloon hangout is now a yuppie bar serving brandied goat cheese pizza.
Somehow he gets framed – by the CIA, the Vatican, and a gang of arch-fiends who count frequent flier mileage points like blue-chip stocks – into stealing three long-lost artefacts by Leonardo da Vinci commissioned by the Duke of Milan in 1481.
Willis performs the task with the aid of his old pal Danny Aiello while they sing and dance to Frank Sinatra‘s big-band arrangement of Swingin’ on a Star.
Then he gets stuck in a runaway ambulance careening across the Triborough Bridge, and when his stretcher lands in a box full of styrofoam he wakes up in Rome tortured by crooks named after diseases and is seduced by Andie MacDowell, who may or may not be a nun doing undercover work for the Pope, who watches Francis the Talking Mule movies on closed-circuit Vatican TV.
Sometimes she’s in a nun’s habit, sometimes she’s French kissing and showing her G-spots.
Nothing is clear except that the master criminals are Darwin and Minerva Mayflower, played by Richard E Grant and Sandra Bernhard.
People get burned, stabbed, skewered in the eyes with hypodermic needles, blown to bits, and they all come back to life at the script’s convenience.
There’s a dog who munches Bruce Willis’s privates, and when all else fails, the movie returns to 1481 for a look at Da Vinci’s medieval Mel Brooks iron factory where metal is transformed into gold.
Hudson Hawk (Eddie Hawkins)
Bruce Willis Anna Baragli
Andie MacDowell Darwin Mayflower
Richard E Grant George Kaplan
James Coburn Tommy Five-Tone
Danny Aiello Minerva Mayflower
Sandra Bernhard Kit Kat
David Caruso Alfred
Donald Burton Snickers
Don Harvey Butterfinger
Andrew Bryniarski Almond Joy
Lorraine Toussaint Gates
Burtt Harris Cesar Mario
Frank Stallone Antony Mario
Carmine Zozzora Leonardo da Vinci
Stefano Molinari
Director Michael Lehmann
Related Posts
Death Becomes Her (1992) "I don't want to become one of the living dead in Beverly Hills," says plastic surgeon Bruce Willis in Robert…
Titanic (1997) On 15 April 1912, five days after embarking on her maiden voyage, from England to New York, the unsinkable Titanic hit an…
Alligator II: The Mutation (1991) Joseph Bologna stars as night shift cop David Hodges in what's basically a PG-13 remake of the original Alligator movie…
Evita (1996) Based on the hit Andrew Lloyd Webber/Tim Rice musical, there are really only three characters in Evita: Perón (Jonathan Pryce), the…
Die Hard 2: Die Harder (1990) Director Renny Harlin can be a terrible hack but he's in his element when he's not bothering about characters, just…
Hot Rods To Hell (1967) Tom Phillips (Dana Andrews), his wife Peg (Jeanne Crain), their teenage daughter Tina (Laurie Mock) and little boy Jamie drive…
Human Tornado, The (1976) Disjointed, perverse, and surreal, this sequel to Dolemite (1975) is a blaxploitation movie on acid. The plot has something to…
Hornets' Nest (1970) This WWII adventure stars Rock Hudson, with a moustache that ages him, as Captain Turner, paratrooper and demolition expert, who…
Hudson Hawk (Eddie Hawkins)
Kit Kat
