Ted Stroehmann (Ben Stiller) is a high school geek with braces who is in love with Mary (Cameron Diaz), the loveliest girl in Rhode Island.
After he helps her handicapped brother (W Earl Brown) out of an ugly corner, she invites him to the prom. Ted turns that into an unforgettable night by getting his dick caught in his tux-trousers zip. Mary’s mother (Markie Post), her black stepdad (Keith David) and her mentally challenged brother are horrified at the sight.
13-years later Ted is still pining over Mary and, at the suggestion of friend Dom (Chris Elliott), hires sleazy private detective Pat Healy (Matt Dillon) to find her.
Healy finds Mary living in Florida where she’s working in orthopaedics, caring for her handicapped brother, dating a disabled architect (Lee Evans) and living with Magda (Lin Shaye), a man-eater with a melanoma tan and a dog she dotes on.
The sleazy P.I. sends back a horrendous report of this beautiful and caring woman – because he’s fallen for her himself. In fact, he finds every needy nerd in the state has discovered that there’s something about Mary . . .
When it comes to bad taste, Mel Brooks could learn a thing or two from the Farrellys who, to be fair, had been practising for a couple of films.
There are jokes about skin conditions, bodily fluids, the mentally handicapped, watering holes for gay men, the ugliness of naked old people, and people in leg braces . . . and there are bucketfuls of semen.
But somewhere behind (or underneath) all this are two nice people called Ted and Mary who will be truly glad to know that they are a part of what’s making you laugh so hard.
W. Earl Brown