Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959)

Originally titled Grave Robbers from Outer Space and often referred to as The Worst Film Ever Made, Plan 9 From Outer Space is also an enduring cult favourite.

A superior alien culture is concerned that humankind is advancing to the point of threatening the stability of the universe (a concept that may yet prove prophetic) and are now plotting the destruction of humanity.

Eight of their plans have failed, and this time the Ruler (John Breckenridge) sends Eros (Dudley Manlove) and Tanna (Joanna Lee) to embark on Plan 9 — resurrecting the Earth’s dead from their graves and sending them on a plodding rampage.

Arriving on Earth, the interplanetary duo start by raising two corpses – the Ghoul Man (Bela Lugosi) and Ghoul Woman (Vampira, the hostess of a TV late show in Los Angeles).

This pair then murder a pair of gravediggers.

While investigating the deaths, Police Inspector Clay (former wrestler Tor Johnson) is killed by the ghouls and becomes a walking zombie. Walking . . . very . . . slowly . . .

Near the cemetery where these grim events are transpiring live hunky airline pilot Jeff Trent (Gregory Walcott) and his wife Paula (Mona McKinnon).

Jeff has seen the saucers and worries about leaving Paula alone in the house as he flies off in pursuit. But Paula promises to lock herself in the bedroom for safety against the intergalactic menace, and commands prettily, “Now, off to your wild blue yonders”.

Jeff dutifully leaves and, in his absence, the ghouls attack Paula. She survives one encounter, but is captured in a second assault by the hulking zombie of the late Inspector Clay. He carries her off towards the alien spaceship, but she is rescued by police in the nick of time,

Then, in a climactic struggle, Jeff and two Pentagon investigators locate and board the spaceship to do battle with Eros and Tanna. A fire breaks out as the fists fly.

Jeff and his companions just manage to flee to safety before the spaceship takes off and explodes in flames.

The obvious continuity errors vie for notoriety, with cockpits made of cardboard and a shower curtain, gravestones that blow over, inexplicable sudden changes between night and day, and pointless stock footage from war propaganda films.

Horror icon Bela Lugosi died early in the production, but rather than re-shoot the already completed sequences, Ed Wood mixed footage of Lugosi with footage using his replacement (his wife’s homoeopathic healer, Tom Mason) – who was nearly a foot taller than Lugosi!

Inane dialogue has never been spoken with more Shakespearean earnestness:

“Greetings, my friends. We are all interested in the future. For that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember, my friends, future events such as these will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown, the mysterious, the unexplainable — that is why you are here. And now, for the first time, we are bringing you the full story of what happened on that fateful day. We are giving you all the evidence based on the secret testimony of the miserable souls who survived this terrifying ordeal. The incident, the places . . . my friends, we cannot keep this a secret any longer. Let us punish the guilty, let us reward the innocent, my friends. Can your hearts stand the shocking facts about grave robbers from outer space?”

And that’s just the opening narration from “The Amazing Criswell”.

To be honest, Plan 9 wasn’t even Ed Wood’s worst movie. See Glen or Glenda (1953), Bride Of The Monster (1955), Night Of The Ghouls (1959) or Orgy Of The Dead (1965) before you judge!

Inspector Clay
Tor Johnson
Vampire girl
Vampira
General Roberts
Lyle Talbot
Colonel Edwards
Tom Keene
Jeff Trent
Gregory Walcott
Paula Trent
Mona Mckinnon
Eros
Dudley Manlove
Lieutenant Harper
Duke Moore
Tanna
Joanna Lee
Patrolman Larry
Carl Anthony
Patrolman Kelton
Paul Marco
Edith
Norma McCarty
Danny
David De Mering
Ghoul man
Bela Lugosi
Ruler
John Breckinridge
The Amazing Criswell
Himself

Director
Edward D. Wood Jr.