Postman, The (1997)

Based on an award-winning science fiction novel by David Brin, this three-hour movie takes place in post-holocaust America in 2013 (the future).

The dust clouds have settled after a nuclear war, and the population has reverted to feudal society in scattered communities as the survivors pick up the reins of civilisation. There is no central government.

Kevin Costner is a lone figure in the wilderness, friendly only with his mule named Bill. They support themselves by performing Shakespeare for bands of settlers. Bill can hold a sword in his mouth, and in Macbeth, he plays Birnam Wood.

His master recites lines like “Life is a tale told by a moron”, not the sort of mistake he’d be likely to make, especially with a woman helpfully prompting him by whispering “Idiot! Idiot!” (or maybe she’s a critic).

Costner is forcibly conscripted into the neo-fascist army of General Bethlehem (Will Patton, pictured), where he suffers for a while before pulling off a dramatic escape. He then stumbles across an abandoned US Mail van and steals the uniform, cap and letter bag of the long-dead skeleton inside.

At the gates of a settlement called Pineview, he claims he’s come to deliver the mail. Building on his fiction, he tells the residents of a restored US government in Minneapolis (under a president named Richard Starkey – the real name of Ringo Starr from The Beatles).

The Sheriff spots him as a fraud, but the people want to believe, and the next morning, he finds letters pushed under his door. Walking outside, he finds all the people of the settlement have gathered in hushed silence in a semicircle around his lodging, to await his wakening and appearance.

As the film proceeds with glacial deliberation, the Postman becomes a symbol for the survivors in their struggling communities.

Abby (Olivia Williams), meanwhile, wants the Postman’s semen. Her husband is infertile after the “bad mumps”, and the couple want a child.

The Postman eventually obliges (his semen is just fine, thank you very much), and she makes love with him in a scene reminiscent of those good Victorian wives who closed their eyes and thought of the Empire.

Her husband is murdered, and she’s kidnapped by General Bethlehem.

She and the Postman eventually escape into the wilderness and spend the winter together while she comes to full term.

This is some frontier woman – in the spring, she burns down their cottage so they’ll be forced to move on and “find someplace nice for the baby”.

In his absence, the Postman’s legendary status has been magnified by young Ford Lincoln Mercury (Larenz Tate), who has named himself after an auto dealership and, in the absence of the Postman, has organised a postal service in exile.

It’s clear that the Postman and Bethlehem will sooner or later have to face each other in battle.

When they do, the general produces a hostage he has captured – Ford L Mercury – and the Postman pales and pauses at the prospect of Mercury’s death, even though his army consists mainly of hundreds of women and children, he is cheerfully contemplating leading to their slaughter.

As with Waterworld, Costner starred, produced and directed (and even sang over the credits). It’s better than Waterworld – but not much.

Watch out for a cameo appearance from Tom Petty, ostensibly playing himself.

The Postman
Kevin Costner
General Bethlehem
Will Patton
Ford Lincoln Mercury
Larenz Tate
Abby
Olivia Williams
Idaho
James Russo
Pineview Sheriff Briscoe
Daniel von Bargen
Bridge City Mayor
Tom Petty
Luke
Scott Bairstow
Bandit 20
Giovanni Ribisi
Irene March
Roberta Maxwell
Colonel Getty
Joe Santos
Old George
Ron McLarty
Ellen March
Peggy Lipton
Woody
Brian Anthony Wilson
Gibbs
Todd Allen
Mercer
Rex Linn
Billy
Shawn Hatosy
Eddie March
Ryan Hurst
Michael, Abby’s Husband
Charles Esten
Ponytail
Annie Costner
Drew
Ty O’Neal
Gangly Recruit
Kirk Fox
Disappointed Recruit
Ken Linhart
Thin Recruit
Korey Scott Pollard
Shakespeare Girl
Kayla Lambert
Shakespeare Boy
Austin Howard Early
Pineview Woman
Ellen Geer
Village Mayor
Randle Mell
Tony
Cooper Taylor
Slow Recruit
Dylan Haggerty
Holnist Projectionist
Michael Milgrom
Lily March
Lily Costner
Pineview Man
Gregory Avellone
Pineview Women
Susan Brightbill
Elisa Daniel
Jenny Buchanan
Ann Manning
Pineview Sentry
Andy Garrison
Pineview Minister
Rusty Hendrickson
Pineview Old Man
Marvin Winton
Pineview Band
Jono Manson
John J. Coinman
Vernon T. Williams
Mark Clark
Blair Forward
Robyn Pruitt-Hamm
Michelle Ramminger
Benning Gatekeeper
Tom Novak
Benning Mayor
George Wyner
Benning Women
Brooke Becker
Eva Gayle Six
Letter Boy
Joe Costner
Letter Boy’s Mother
Kathi Sheehan
Carrier 12
Derk Cheetwood
Adult Letter Boy
Mark Thomason

Director
Kevin Costner