This six-part anthology series from the BBC presented a nice line in black comedy penned by some of the best names in the business: Michael Palin, Terry Jones, Philip Mackie, Hugh Leonard, Julian Mitchell, Michael O’Neill, Jeremy Seabrook and Henry Livings.
Secrets
In the first episode, the Secrets chocolate factory receives an unexpected sales boost when three maintenance workers fall into the boiling chocolate vat and are fed through the production line.
Although factory boss Cyril Rose (Warren Mitchell) is initially horrified, the chocolates prove a huge success and “We are putting people into our Secrets” becomes a national slogan.
Written by Michael Palin and Terry Jones of Monty Python fame, the story eventually resurfaced as the film Consuming Passionsin 1988.
Cyril Rose
Warren Mitchell Robinson
Julian Holloway Atkinson
David Collings Villon
Clifford Rose Saville
George Innes Jackson
Hugh Walters Foreman
Brian Coburn Major Forster
Brian Wilde Mrs Pitt
Gretchen Franklin Commentator
Kenneth Wolstenholme Housewife
Pamela Coveney
The Middle-of-the-Road Roadshow for All the Family
A Wardour Street film tycoon (Bill Fraser) hires the wrong writer to script The Six Loves of Queen Anne and pays him a massive advance of £500,000.
But NJ has inadvertently hired not Robert Bolt but Robin Bolt (Stephen Moore) – writer of two episodes of Coronation Street. “Hello Annie luv. You know I’m right fond of thee”.
NJ
Bill Fraser Jacki Darr
Adrienne Posta Hi
Anthony Hopkins Robin Bolt
Stephen Moore Peter Queech
Ray Brooks Waiter
Freddie Earlle Sid
Anthony Haygarth Jacko
Chris Harris Lynda Cherry
Margaret Nolan
High Kampf
Wealthy Johann Schultz lies close to death in an Irish monastery and his vulture in-laws begin to gather.
But “Johann” is actually Adolf Hitler and an array of odd characters are assembled to see what they may inherit. These include a sex-mad solicitor disguised as a bishop (Philip Stone), a prostitute disguised as a nun (Brenda Fricker), a sadistic Special Branch man in permanent fear of his life (Geoffrey Golden), and his sexy but stupid wife (Maureen Aherne).
Written by Hugh Leonard, most of the jokes hinged on double entendres of a blasphemous or sexual nature.
Schultz Kenneth Colley Hartigan
Geoffrey Golden Alacoque
Maureen Aherne Haymes
Philip Stone Ellie
Brenda Fricker Ignatius
Kevin Flood Dympna
Ronnie Masterson Malaventura
Aideen O’Kelly Canavan
Donal Neligan Ulric
Denys Hawthorne Alice
Rosaleen Linehan Superior
Martin Dempsey Mother Superior
Elizabeth Begley German
John Bryans Buonasera
John Rogan Superintendent
Peter Adair Suspect
Kenneth Sicklen
Rust
A deadly flu bug threatens to wipe out the world. A British-made drug can cure the flu, but it leaves the takers impotent. Written by Julian Mitchell.
Sir Henry
John Le Mesurier Eleanor
Elizabeth Spriggs Philip Crane
Allan Cuthbertson Thomas Richmond
James Bree Jacko Bates
Ken Wynne Lucy Hawkes
Rosina Thorndike Tim Hawkes
Raymond Platt Television Director
John Owens Mel
David Monico
Soap Opera in Stockwell
Baby Craigie (wearing a romper suit nicked from Marks by his Nan who works there part-time) is snatched from outside a washeteria in Stockwell where the natural depravity of the regulars is such that the manageress has “a list as long as my arm of people who’ve been banned for life” from the launderette.
When a ransom note is found demanding £13.50, one of the launderette regulars (almost all male actors in drag) remarks truthfully that they don’t want much and another, with equal truth, that Craigie isn’t worth much more.
Sylv
Alfie Bass Bert
Michael Robbins Carol
Cheryl Hall May
George Tovey Dot
Donald Gee Joan
Harry Landis Mavis
Tony Selby Lois
Dinah Glaskin Bolaji
Taiwo Ajai Policeman
Clyde Pollitt Detective
Jack May Nancy
Sam Kelly Cissy
Griffith Davies Iris
Jumoke Debayo Reporter
Tony Robinson Jessie
Melanie Jane
Glorious Miles
A shady property developer takes on a butler to impress his guests. Unfortunately, the butler thinks he is being paid for an altogether different job. Written by Henry Livings.
Miles Miles
Peter Vaughan Lord Grotton
Dinsdale Landen Pal
Russell Hunter Sir John Roe
Anthony Sharp Myra
Bridget McConnel Lady Roe
Penelope Lee
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Cyril Rose
A Wardour Street film tycoon (Bill Fraser) hires the wrong writer to script The Six Loves of Queen Anne and pays him a massive advance of £500,000.
