1 9 7 3 (UK)
6 x 60 minute episodes
This six-part anthology series from the BBC presented a nice line in black comedy penned by some of the best names in the business: Michael Palin, Terry Jones, Philip Mackie, Hugh Leonard, Julian Mitchell, Michael O’Neill, Jeremy Seabrook and Henry Livings.
Secrets
In the first episode, the Secrets chocolate factory receives an unexpected sales boost when three maintenance workers fall into the boiling chocolate vat and are fed through the production line.
Although factory boss Cyril Rose (Warren Mitchell) is initially horrified, the chocolates prove a huge success and “We are putting people into our Secrets” becomes a national slogan.
Written by Michael Palin and Terry Jones of Monty Python fame, the story eventually resurfaced as the film Consuming Passions in 1988.
Cyril Rose
Warren Mitchell
Robinson
Julian Holloway
Atkinson
David Collings
Villon
Clifford Rose
Saville
George Innes
Jackson
Hugh Walters
Foreman
Brian Coburn
Major Forster
Brian Wilde
Mrs Pitt
Gretchen Franklin
Despatch Lady
Hilda Barry
Lorry Driver
George Tovey
Commentator
Kenneth Wolstenholme
Handsome Man
Godfrey Talbot
Beautiful Girl
Sarah Douglas
Country Girl
Judy Robinson
Housewife
Pamela Coveney
The Middle-of-the-Road Roadshow for All the Family
A Wardour Street film tycoon (Bill Fraser) hires the wrong writer to script The Six Loves of Queen Anne and pays him a massive advance of £500,000.
But NJ has inadvertently hired not Robert Bolt but Robin Bolt (Stephen Moore) – writer of two episodes of Coronation Street. “Hello Annie luv. You know I’m right fond of thee”.
NJ
Bill Fraser
Jacki Darr
Adrienne Posta
Hi
Anthony Hopkins
Robin Bolt
Stephen Moore
Peter Queech
Ray Brooks
Waiter
Freddie Earlle
Sid
Anthony Haygarth
Jacko
Chris Harris
Lynda Cherry
Margaret Nolan
High Kampf
Wealthy Johann Schultz lies close to death in an Irish monastery and his vulture in-laws begin to gather.
But “Johann” is actually Adolf Hitler and an array of odd characters are assembled to see what they may inherit. These include a sex-mad solicitor disguised as a bishop (Philip Stone), a prostitute disguised as a nun (Brenda Fricker), a sadistic Special Branch man in permanent fear of his life (Geoffrey Golden), and his sexy but stupid wife (Maureen Aherne).
Written by Hugh Leonard, most of the jokes hinged on double entendres of a blasphemous or sexual nature.
Schultz
Kenneth Colley
Hartigan
Geoffrey Golden
Alacoque
Maureen Aherne
Haymes
Philip Stone
Ellie
Brenda Fricker
Ignatius
Kevin Flood
Dympna
Ronnie Masterson
Malaventura
Aideen O’Kelly
Canavan
Donal Neligan
Ulric
Denys Hawthorne
Alice
Rosaleen Linehan
Superior
Martin Dempsey
Mother Superior
Elizabeth Begley
German
John Bryans
Buonasera
John Rogan
Superintendent
Peter Adair
Suspect
Kenneth Sicklen
Rust
A deadly flu bug threatens to wipe out the world. A British-made drug can cure the flu, but it leaves the takers impotent. Written by Julian Mitchell.
Sir Henry
John Le Mesurier
Eleanor
Elizabeth Spriggs
Philip Crane
Allan Cuthbertson
Thomas Richmond
James Bree
Jacko Bates
Ken Wynne
Lucy Hawkes
Rosina Thorndike
Tim Hawkes
Raymond Platt
Television Director
John Owens
Mel
David Monico
Soap Opera in Stockwell
Baby Craigie (wearing a romper suit nicked from Marks by his Nan who works there part-time) is snatched from outside a washeteria in Stockwell where the natural depravity of the regulars is such that the manageress has “a list as long as my arm of people who’ve been banned for life” from the launderette.
When a ransom note is found demanding £13.50, one of the launderette regulars (almost all male actors in drag) remarks truthfully that they don’t want much and another, with equal truth, that Craigie isn’t worth much more.
Sylv
Alfie Bass
Bert
Michael Robbins
Carol
Cheryl Hall
May
George Tovey
Dot
Donald Gee
Joan
Harry Landis
Mavis
Tony Selby
Lois
Dinah Glaskin
Bolaji
Taiwo Ajai
Policeman
Clyde Pollitt
Detective
Jack May
Nancy
Sam Kelly
Cissy
Griffith Davies
Iris
Jumoke Debayo
Reporter
Tony Robinson
Jessie
Melanie Jane
Glorious Miles
A shady property developer takes on a butler to impress his guests. Unfortunately, the butler thinks he is being paid for an altogether different job. Written by Henry Livings.
Miles Miles
Peter Vaughan
Lord Grotton
Dinsdale Landen
Pal
Russell Hunter
Sir John Roe
Anthony Sharp
Myra
Bridget McConnel
Lady Roe
Penelope Lee