Beast of Yucca Flats, The (1961)

Director Coleman Francis makes Ed Wood look like Steven Spielberg with this no-budget, no-script, no-plot effort.

The film opens with a scene of a topless woman being strangled – an incident that is never explained and bears no relevance to the rest of the story. It seems Francis added this gratuitous scene after filming was completed simply because he liked bare breasts.

In his final starring role, 400-pound ex-Swedish wrestler Tor Johnson portrays Joseph Javorsky, a Russian scientist defecting to America.

Upon arrival, Javorsky is immediately spotted by two KGB assassins, leading to a car chase at a maximum speed of about 45 mph – one of the cars is a Plymouth Valiant, a vehicle incapable of exceeding 50 mph.

The pursuit ends at a (unmarked and unfenced) nuclear bomb testing site.

Javorsky’s two bodyguards and the Russian agents engage in a shootout using pistols capable of firing millions of rounds, while Javorsky runs lumbers off into the desert.

Some stock footage of a nuclear explosion is then spliced into the film – the blast of which causes Javorsky to become a mindless, blank-eyed beast, with radiation burns (created in an act of special effects genius with wet toilet paper and talcum powder) and an even more vacant stare than before.

After murdering two individuals, the story introduces two “Desert Patrol” police officers – Joe Dobson (Larry Aten) and Jim Archer (Bing Stafford) – along with a brief glimpse of Jim’s wife.

In a bizarre and gratuitous scene, she gets out of bed dressed in a nightgown and then, in an unexpected plot twist, crawls back into bed.

Unsure who they are pursuing, Joe advises Jim, “Shoot first, and ask questions later.”

While riding in a light aircraft, Jim follows the advice and starts shooting at a man named Hank Radcliffe (Douglas Mellor), who is searching for his kids who wandered away from the family car.

Jim fires about 5,000 rounds at Hank, hitting him once or twice, but Hank inexplicably keeps recovering. Eventually, an unharmed Hank manages to return to his car, along with his boys (played by the director’s sons). Before they escape, they are chased around for a few minutes by Javorsky, who, as beasts go, is incredibly inept.

Jim and Joe eventually locate and shoot the right guy, and as Javorsky takes his last breath, he pets a wild baby rabbit that approaches him. He dies, and the film ends.

The movie was shot without sound, and the little dialogue there is was dubbed in afterwards. To avoid having to sync a lot of sound in post-production, the actors turned their faces away from the camera when speaking and cupped their hands over their mouths when shouting.

The accompanying strange narration, voiced by Francis himself, was also added post-production in an attempt to make sense of the footage, offering lines like “Touch a button. Things happen. A scientist becomes a beast.”

The trailer for The Beast of Yucca Flats claims it is “The most exciting movie ever made,” – a boast that wouldn’t hold true even if it were the only movie ever made.

Mercifully, it’s only 54 minutes long.

The Beast/Joseph Javorsky
Tor Johnson
Hank Radcliffe
Douglas Mellor
Lois Radcliffe
Barbara Francis
Jim Archer
Bing Stafford
Joe Dobson
Larry Aten
Wife on Vacation
Linda Bielema
Husband on Vacation
Jim Oliphant
Lost Boy 1
Ronald Francis
Lost Boy 2
Alan Francis
KGB Driver
Tony Cardoza
KGB Passenger
John Morrison
Javorsky’s Driver
Jim Miles
Javorsky’s Bodyguard
Bob Labansat
Driver Run Off Road
Eric Tomlin
Man Who Reports Murder
George Prince
Man at Airfield
Conrad Brooks
News Boy
Graham Stafford

Director
Coleman Francis

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