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Jaws 3-D (1983)

Called simply Jaws 3 for television and stripped of the one gimmick (3-D) that made it – arguably – acceptable in theatres, this hapless opus stands as a testament to the law of diminishing returns.

Sheriff Brody’s sons – Sean (John Putch) and Mike (a very young Dennis Quaid) – are working at a new marine park owned by controversial entrepreneur Calvin Bouchard (Louis Gossett Jr), where a captive infant great white shark is being groomed as the centre’s latest tourist attraction. However, no one has reckoned on the creature’s vengeful mother.

Joe Alves, the production designer of Steven Spielberg’s great original and, therefore, the man responsible for creating the mechanical shark (“Bruce”) is at the helm here, but it’s quite clear from this effort that he’s no director. The special effects are dire, with a model shark used on several occasions, ‘swimming’ directly at the camera.

Watch out for PH Moriarty (Hatchet Harry from Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels), but just feel sorry for the likes of jobbing Dennis Quaid and Louis Gossett Jr, both miscast and extremely under-directed.

Jaws 3-D is dull, over-long and unceasingly dumb – but the Bess Armstrong romantic bits are quite watchable.

Mike Brody
Dennis Quaid
Calvin Bouchard
Louis Gossett Jr
Kathryn Morgan
Bess Armstrong
Philip FitzRoyce
Simon MacCorkindale
Sean Brody
John Putch
Kelly Ann Bukowski
Lea Thompson
Jack Tate
P H Moriarty
Dan Blasko
Liz Morris
Lisa Maurer
Harry Grant
Silver Bullet
Andy Hansen

Joe Alves