Virginal Valentino-adoring heiress Ayre “Mac” McGillvary (Bo Derek) graduates from a prestigious boarding school and goes to Morocco in search of pure sexual ecstasy, accompanied by her chauffeur, Cotton (George Kennedy) and friend Catalina (Ana Obregon).
She ends up (almost) losing her virginity to a handsome young sheikh (he dozes off during their lovemaking) before travelling to Spain and making love to a sulky bullfighter – who gets gored in the goolies.
Bo attempts to revive his stricken parts – at one point emptying a cageful of canaries into his lap (?) – and eventually succeeds, ending the film with a protracted lovemaking session in which Bo triumphantly restores his dormant apparatus.
Set for no apparent reason in the 1920s, director John Derek’s anti-erotic valentine to his wife is packed with hilariously awful encounters, further undermined by insipid dialogue.
See Bo ride a horse naked. See Bo writhe passionately in front of a red neon sign spelling out the film’s title. See Bo, covered in honey, licked clean in slow motion.
See how badly a film goes wrong when a besotted husband thinks the world is ready for a lavish Bo-Peep tribute to a wife who may have a great body, but is one lousy actress.
That said, she can do three things very ably – blink, bite her lip, and giggle.
Tasteless, torturous and terrifically trashy, Bolero is not remotely erotic – nor does it excite on any level. But it is one of the funniest bad movies ever made.
A laughable attempt at a dramatic twist is made when the sheikh turns up in Spain to abduct our heroine in his aeroplane.
Some criminally half-hearted screaming marks the sequence, then Bo and the sheikh read their way through the script in sing-song voices that show real dismay, lest we take the kidnapping seriously.
The film grossed only $8.9 million against its $7 million budget.
Ayre McGillvary
Bo Derek Cotton
George Kennedy Angel Contreras
Andrea Occhipinti Catalina
Ana Obregon Paloma
Olivia D’Abo Sheik
Greg Bensen Robert Stewart
Ian Cochrane Evita
Mirta Miller
Director
John Derek
You May Also Like
Belles of St Trinian's, The (1954) This rollicking British comedy - filmed at Shepperton Studios - is based on Ronald Searle's cartoons…
Breaker Morant (1980) Beautifully filmed, expertly acted and meticulously directed by Bruce Beresford, Breaker Morant tells the true story…
Cactus In The Snow (1971) Harley Macintosh (Richard Thomas) is an innocent young soldier without a family who is due to…
Sting, The (1973) Quite clearly designed to exploit the successful teaming of Paul Newman and Robert Redford in 1969's Butch…
Christmas Story, A (1983) Based on a short story by American humorist Jean Shepherd (who narrates the film), A Christmas…
Butterfield 8 (1960) Elizabeth Taylor won the 1960 Best Actress Oscar for her role in Butterfield 8, although most…
Big Bad Mama II (1987) She tried to go straight, she really did, but they just won't let Wilma McClatchie be.…
Beast Must Die, The (1974) Wealthy playboy, philanthropist and big game hunter Tom Newcliffe (Calvin Lockhart) and his wife Caroline (Marlene…
She ends up (almost) losing her virginity to a handsome young sheikh (he dozes off during their lovemaking) before travelling to Spain and making love to a sulky bullfighter – who gets gored in the goolies.
A laughable attempt at a dramatic twist is made when the sheikh turns up in Spain to abduct our heroine in his aeroplane.
