Polyester (1981)

Former Baltimore hairdresser Harris Glenn Milstead carved quite a career for himself as cinematic drag queen Divine (he was given the name by director and friend John Waters).

Divine hated being called a transvestite (although he didn’t mind eating dog faeces and performing fellatio in Pink Flamingos). “These are simply my working clothes,” he said, “that’s how I make people laugh”.

Divine plays Francine Fishpaw – a highly entertaining caricature of someone ladylike in a 1950s style – who worries helplessly about household odours and does her best to make sure her suburban house is furnished with all the velour, gilt, and brightly coloured plastic her family could want.

Francine has trouble with her family because her husband runs a pornographic movie theatre and her children are budding delinquents.

Her daughter Lulu (Mary Garlington) loves go-go dancing and sneaks off to be with a boyfriend (Stiv Bators), who gives the word slimy a whole new meaning. Francine’s son Dexter (Ken King) has terrorised Baltimore as the mysterious Foot Stomper, sneaking up on women in shopping centres and having his way with them, from the ankle down.

Francine is grief-stricken about it all and confides her woes to her best friend, Cuddles (Edith Massey, a large elderly woman with only five or six teeth, a completely amateurish way of reading her lines and grey hair that has been coaxed into a flip), who used to be a cleaning lady until she inherited a lot of money.

Now she wears tennis outfits and says things like, ”Oh, this house is just like Architectural Digest!”

Divine brings considerable sweetness to the role of Francine, wringing her hands in anguish and pining for Mr Right. He eventually turns up in the form of Todd Tomorrow (Tab Hunter), who runs an art-house drive-in with champagne and caviar at the refreshment stand and a Marguerite Duras triple bill on the screen.

One of the numerous things that makes Polyester fun is “Odorama”. At 10 different points in the movie, a number flashes on the screen and the viewer can consult a card that carries the appropriate smell – skunk or sneakers, for example.

And Deborah Harry contributes perhaps the first set of song lyrics to contain the phrase ”French Provincial.”

Francine Fishpaw
Divine
Todd Tomorrow
Tab Hunter
Cuddles Kovinsky
Edith Massey
Elmer Fishpaw
David Samson
Lu-Lu Fishpaw
Mary Garlington
Dexter Fishpaw
Ken King
Sandra Sullivan
Mink Stole
La Rue
Joni Ruth White
Bo-Bo Belsinger
Stiv Bators
Heintz
Hans Kramm
Dr Arnold Quackenshaw
Rick Breitenfeld
Freddy Ashton
Michael Watson

Director
John Waters

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