Written by Peter Richardson and Keith Allen, this Comic Strip Presents . . . production is a merciless spoof of the hugely popular ITV cop show The Professionals, which began life as a series of sketches the pair used to perform on Channel 4’s Whatever You Want.
Janie (Fiona Hendley), the daughter of Commander Jackson (Robbie Coltrane), the gruff head of DI5, is kidnapped, and only two men can save her – former DI5 agents Bonehead (Keith Allen) and Foyle (Peter Richardson), who were sacked after several incidents of a homosexual nature – including cavorting with each other on Hampstead Heath – which Bonehead claimed were due to a ‘gay serum’ given to him by the Russians.
The duo appear for most of the 40 minutes in just underpants and shoulder holsters, taking the bromance of The Professionals to a hysterically homoerotic level. During a shootout, they even break off to roll on the ground and kiss passionately.
Foyle is mocked for his taste in health foods and for his stated wish to be regarded as a “serious actor”.
Bonehead runs a school for macho-style TV heroes (“Knobs Academy for TV Tough Guys”).
Whether Lewis Collins and Martin Shaw found the film funny is not on record.
Bonehead
Keith Allen Foyle
Peter Richardson Commander Jackson
Robbie Coltrane Alana Pellay
Herself Jimmy Fagg
Himself Janie
Fiona Hendley Admiral
Al Matthews Thompson
George Khan Knobs Student Chuck
Kevin Allen Knobs Student Stig
Gary Martin Knobs Student Dean
John Sarbutt Knobs Student Troy
David Farrington Father
Anthony Sharp Daughter
Patience Tomlinson Michael White
Himself RADA Student
Julian Firth Builder
Malcolm Hardee Knobs Academy Receptionist
Suzanne Jerome Stone Deaf A & R Man
Elvis Costello
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Janie (Fiona Hendley), the daughter of Commander Jackson (Robbie Coltrane), the gruff head of DI5, is kidnapped, and only two men can save her – former DI5 agents Bonehead (Keith Allen) and Foyle (Peter Richardson), who were sacked after several incidents of a homosexual nature – including cavorting with each other on Hampstead Heath – which Bonehead claimed were due to a ‘gay serum’ given to him by the Russians.
Foyle is mocked for his taste in health foods and for his stated wish to be regarded as a “serious actor”.
